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Shaderia
This page is about Shaderia (The Land of Shadows). Having been ruled by King Solomon for over four centuries it was destroyed at his hands when he instigated armageddon. His mother's necklace was transported to Arsinos before complete annhilation, ensuring that he would live on to rebuild his empire. (Kane: As if.) For the Barvos incarnations of Shaderia click here: New Shaderia, Shaderian Republic of Dawn 'Colonies and Protectorates' Shaderia now has control over several major countries all over Arsinos, the table below shows the different names for each group 'History on Arsinos' Key moments of Shaderia's history on Arsinos: *Aided the Salopian Empire fighting the communists, formed an informal alliance with Stahl Empire and Salopian Empire *Liberated The Table from Much Wenlock, handed it over to Stahl Empire for safe keeping *Betrayed by Stahl Empire when they gave The Table to AAC *Fought in the first war of the table against Stahl Empire with help from Lexilo *The war resulted in the Stahl Empire crumbling but Shaderia ailed to retrieve The Table from AAC *Shaderia aided Lexilo in their attack on the newly named Stahl Federation for Stahl Empire's use of chemical weapons on Lexilo *Offered to help rebuild Lornon with Lexilo. Shaderia and Lexilo both became joint owners of Lornon. *After Lexilo's government abandoned its people Lornon fell under full control of Shaderia. *Shaderia claimed a small island to the east of Pradiis and began the creation of Safari Island . *With Dog Bollock busy trying to fend off an attack from Novak , the remant tribes of Lexilo and The Stahl Federation, Shaderia decides to try and reclaim the table from AAC with the help of The Salopian Empire. *The Second War of the Table was fought over a long period of time, resulted in large ICBM damage to Talkeetna, the loss of numerous people and carriers and a huge drop in Shaderian morale. *The War was brought to a climax when Dog Bollock aided AAC in exchange for land and forced the remaining Shaderian and SE forces to flee. *The Table was lost during the confusion, and was eventually placed in a museum on Loveshack. *After the atrocities of war Mayor Stubbs decided to retire to the Safari Island. Whilst there he was offered the chance to run for the very first United Nations Executive Council. Mayor Stubbs left Shaderia for his new home in Loveshack. *Huge recession caused by the war and the decrease in global oil since Shaderia attacked AAC's supply. *Mayor Moley took over Mayor Stubbs previous position as Mayor of the East. *Shaderia slowly began to recover, the discovery of precious gems helped to boost this recovery. *After the Rollertown Lottery Shaderia became the new rulers of Fusonia. The Fusherion Federation was born. *Shaderia tried to stay out of external conflicts as much as they could. *After winning Toastervision 13 and discovering oil in south Suporcia, Shaderia had more than recovered from the war with AAC. *In honour of the fallen Glen Carriers, King Solomon decided to colonise the island North of Fusonia and name it Glenmark. *After The Table was stolen Shaderia and Lornon decided to take revenge on the pirates by attacking Buccaneer Island in what was to be known as the Third War of The Table. *After Stahl stepped in to help the Pirates Shaderia attacked Stahl's Isles of Red and forced them to surrender, in exchange for peace Stahl offered to help Shaderia and Lornon take over Buccaneer Island. *Toastervision 14 was hosted in Solarchapel and was a huge success. Moral and wealth in Shaderia was at an all time high. *As the unexplored land to the north became safe Shaderia and the Salopian Empire both sent forces to begin the colonisation of the North West. *Stahl Federation invaded Bananalon and, since other countries were attacking AAC for siding with Masher, and Amun-Seth because they suspected Masher was hiding there, Shaderia and Lornon practically fought off Stahl Empire alone, with the help of UN forces. *This war was very difficult due to Stahl's military power and the distance between Shaderia and Bananalon. *Despite Shaderian Councillor Mini Me's constant proposal's the Stahl Empire refused to surrender and so Shaderia sent a large contingent of aircraft carriers to take The Isles of Red. *Stahl was forced to surrender to UNEC demands and gave the Isles of Red to UP in an underhanded attempt to keep them safe. *With the war over Shaderia turned its concentration to finish building projects in Shaderia, Fusonia, Lornon and New World. *After UP falls apart Fozamor is given to Shaderia by the remnants of UP to ensure its safety. *Kaneland starts another pointless attack on Barnegat (Bucaneer Island), after realising that Kaneland is outnumbered Kane sends a nuke from Thriftshop to the unprotected New World regional capital, Erathia. *Survivors flee Erathia for the northwest and Aberdeshia, the New World military attacks Thrift Shop. It is learnt that The Table is there. 'Shaderia' Western Shaderia Shaderia, or the Land of Shadows, is a country with a vast coastline and has a strong economy based on this. The country is ruled by the sovereign king Solomon who rules from his castle in the dark heart of the Capitol city, Shadowspire. Western Shaderia is almost completely in darkness as the emissions of Chauxite cause the westto be veiled from any strong amount of sunlight. Despite this, the vegetation in the west has adapted and thrives off the Chauxite emmissions which actually capture solar energy and once they sink back into the earth the plants then gather the nutrients. The people of the Shaderian west are of a pale complexion to most other countries and generally have superior eyesight, though this means they can be easily blinded in bright environments. It is because of this enhanced sight that they are able to work just as efficiently during the night and means that warfare is very efficient when based on guerrilla tactics during nightfall. The staple cuisine of Western Shaderia is mainly derived from vegetables, sea creatures and cave critters as there aren't many animals that walk across the land that will provide sufficient nutrients. The Shaderian's generally follow the religion known as Shadistika which bases a lot of its teachings on the physicality of life after death, and Shadistika is even one of the most practiced religions in the Shaderian East. All of Shaderia makes use of the living dead in their armies and the armed forces of Western Shaderia are also made up of Darklings (chimp like creatures with a strong aversion to light, an insatiable bloodlust and razor sharp claws). Shaderia is thriving with entertainment and the music styles of the nation generally consist of death metal, heavy rock, punk, classical and the folk stylings of Simon and Garfunkel. Eastern Shaderia The Shaderian East is, in someways the exact opposite of the west. They are not covered in the dark shroud of chauxite and spend most of the year caressed by the sunlight (Western citizens often require sun cream and shades when travelling to the east). The South East of Shaderia even has a scorching desert. Eastern Shaderia is often where foreign relations are negotiated, where tourists visit and where the cultural diversity can thrive. Like their western counterpart much of the Eastern cities dine upon fish as marine life is abundant and the numerous docks, and fast transportation links throughout Shaderia, make it easy to transport the goods to landlocked cities. Shadistika is a major religion in the east but it also has several other religions to compete with, The Brotherhood of Gabranth is the second largest religion (religious central city is Solarchapel), and Tarvuism is the third (religious central city is Tlentifini Maarhaysu), these religions are not prominent in the west at all but have taken root where the hold of death and darkness are not quite as strong. Even though these religions oppose Shadistika in certain ways, Solomon allows them to practice. Mayor Stubbs, former mayor of the east, had strong relations with the BoG, though he himself was not a member. 'Politics' Shaderia is a country which favours isolationism. Although Shaderia does not like committing troops to foreign affairs they will do so to stop the balance of power shifting too drastically, if the agressor is a current antagonist of Shaderia, or if intervening means protecting Shaderia's interests. Although Shaderia is a dictorial monarchy, under the watchful rule of the eternal King Solomon, Mayor Stubbs deals with most of the politics. Although Stubbs and Solomon are very different to one another Stubbs has managed to gain favour with Solomon and is one of the few Shaderian citizens who will not be chastised for challenging the king in public. Solomon oversees affairs in the west and is the uppermost leader of the Shaderian military being that he is an excellent fighter and tactition, he will even fight alongside his troops when an enemy attacks in Shaderia. Stubbs on the other hand keeps watch over the east and is in charge of trade, humanitarian events and diplomacy. Mayor Stubbs is also the among the first members of the United Nations Executive Council, favouring diplomacy to violence and keeping civilians from harm. A Promotion for Stubbs After the war of the table and the large amounts of blood which was shed at Shaderian hands Stubbs was very much perturbed. He sought Solace on the Safari Island where he quietly thought to himself over the follies of war. After he left the Island Stubbs had decided to leave the Shaderian office, unsure of what else to do he took an interest in the UN as they were neutral. He was eventually offered a job as mayor of the Loveshack. A New Face in Town ** Without a mayor Talkeetna, and indeed Shaderia, were concerned for their future. But this worry did not last long as within a matter of weeks a new mayoral candidate took the country by storm. Winning the election with 56% of the votes Mayor Moley is the new mayor of Shaderia. **Although Mayor Moley does not currently have a strong relationship with Solomon it is hoped that this relationship will grow as time goes on. But there is one thing that Solomon and Mayor Moley can most certainly agree on, and that's that diggin' holes is a darn lot of fun! Geography Solomon's Abode Solomon currently resides in Abaddon Castle, located in the small city of Chakhr (which doesn't appear on any maps, it is located to the northwest of Shadowspire) , the castle has has been carved out of the mountains by skeletal slaves and is one of the maps sturdiest castles. An underground labyrinth lies beneath it and leads into the dark caves which surround it, many enter the caverns in the hope of taking Solomon by surprise, though none of them are heard from again. Abaddon Castle was used on the cover of Cannibal Corpse's album Gallery of Suicide. . . . Cities of Interest Shaderia is located on the South Western continent, Suporcia. It neighbours Tokogami and Fusonia. Shaderia is the biggest country on Suporcia and has a very varied terrain. The Shaderian capital is Shadowspire, which is engulfed entirely in a black shroud several thousand feet from the ground. This shroud is a result of "Chauxite Immulsion," a thick black cloud which is released from the chauxite mineral when mixed with certain chemicals. Solomon engineered a vast experiment with Chauxite Immulsion to try and immerse the whole of Shaderia in darkness, though his plan only succeeded so far as engulfing the Shaderian Northwest, still, Solomon was pleased with the results even more so as he could make the diverse living environments work to his advantage. The extent of the shroud can be seen on the image above, all of the land within the black dotted area lives in eternal darkness. The southern coastal region is home to dense forests and swamps. As well as the regular Shaderian citizens who make this region their home, especially in the city of Oasis '''(So called as it was deemed to be an oasis from the chauxite immulsion that polluted the air), the marshlands are also inhabited by the Baiyemeau tribes people who coexist amicably with Shaderians and even offer support in matters of trade and war. Further to the East the wet terrain gives way to an arid desert which spans for miles into the horizon. The city of '''Scorch '''is the most successful city in Shaderia's desert region and is often used as a place to rest by ne'er do wells on the run from international bounty hunters. Despite this seedy assocatiation Scorch is a fantastic place to raise ones family and has some of the freshest fish and water as well as some of the most delicious crops. Moving Northward the mountainside city of '''Pradiis '''is inhabited by some of the wealthiest citizens of Shaderia and has some of the maps most expensive diamonds hidden deep within the caves. On the other side of the Pradiise Mountains also hosts some of the more humble inhabitants of Shaderia as it is the agricultural capital fo the country. Recieveing some of the cleanest water for the farmland directly from the Pradiise Mountains and various fresh water channels that bring water from the Sea of Mermaids. '''Talkeenta '''is the trade capital of Shaderia as its port sees hundreds of merchant ships each day, either bringing goods to Shaderia or shipping them to the other countries. It is also one of the best fishing cities on the Suporcian continent, bringing in seafood of all different types (though in an environmentally friendly fashion). It is because of the vast array of fish that Mayor Stubbs, the only feline to ever achieve the title of Mayor in Shaderian history, chose to move there. He can be seen lapping cream from a wine glass whilst eating the best catch of the day on the Talkeentan docks. The most northern city in Shaderia, '''Nadyavak, is also the highest above sea level as the whole of the city is situated in the mountain side. Nadyavak was originally a seperate country from Shaderia and was home to the Selchen, fears mountain warriors who could climb up a mountain as fast as anyone else could run on flat land, though Solomon, having a lot of respect for their hatred of the immortals offered them a chance to be a part of his kingdom and thus Nadyavak and Shaderia became one. Many Shaderians have since moved to nadyavak as they envy the mountainous lifestyle that the Selchen live, and so Nadyavak is no a place of huge diversity. To the west of Nadyavak we have Solarchapel, half built in the heavens and half built on the land, Solarchapel is Shaderias most diversely cultural city and in being so is also the most different from Shaderias capital. It is often referred to as Shaderias second capital, perhaps in the hope that the light may eventually defeat all the darkness that shrouds the Shaderian North-West. The Brotherhood of Gabranth currently have their main temple based in Solarchapel and because of this many of its followers arrive in the city on pilgrimages from all over the world. Many question why Solomon, who some have referred to as evil incarnate, has allowed a place of joy to form within his own country and no answer has yet to be determined. Some hypothesise that is because Solomon needs to understand how his enemies are thinking, others believe that even though Solomon hates that this is so, the pleasant appearance of the Eastern most cities make it easier to form alliances when an alliance is needed, but no one can truly know what is going through Solomon's mind. Tlentifini Maarhaysu 'is an interesting little city. Much like Solarchapel it is a beacon for a religious group, though the religious group which congregates in this city are known as Tarvuists, whom many believe to just be a rather perculiar cult. Though since the religion is not causing any harm (and Solomon respects the manipulative skills of "Tarvu's 8," the leaders of this religion, Tarvuism has been allowed to stay and flourish. One of the newest cities in Shaderia, '''Hecht ' was primarily created at the new motorway junction as a stopping point for Shaderian's embarking on long journeys. The season's here are probably the most extreme as Hecht is neither shrouded nor clear for the whole of the year. In the spring and the summer the skies are often clear as the precipitation is low and the shroud retreats to the west, allowing for warm weather that's perfect for farming. In the autumn and winter however the large rainfall and typical wind patterns cause an increase in the shroud and urge it towards Hecht, almost covering it completely in shadow. Because of the heavy traffic throughout Hecht it is a city created for spontaneous enjoyment. It is the gambling capital in Shaderia and hosts some of the best known casinos in the world, despite it's large amount of visitors however some citizens claim that it is the home of sin and debauchery. '''Flurid-Ah is one of the smallest of Mainland Shaderia's and is, in the grand scheme of things, not very important. The most notable aspect about Flurid-Ah, and the reason that it is a city of interest, is that it is home to the majority of Shaderian Radio companies, the only other "claim to fame" is it's unusually high crime rate, especially when considering how small the city actually is. This fact has led to some people naming Flurid-Ah "Vice City," and, in a tongue in cheek style, Flurid-Ah's second most popular radio station named itself "Vice City Public Radio." Safari Island - An island filled with exotic and mystical animals. A great place for a holiday. ****** Cuisine Due to the shroud which covers Western Shaderia in darkness there is not much vegetation found in the west (Save for the deep south). Because of this the staple food in the west is cave creatures, various types of fungi and the more recent innovations of "Strange Meat" and "Soylent Green." However, due to the efficiency of Oasis' port marine food is now very much the West Shaderian staple, as well as this, the thriving farms from Eastern Shaderia ship a large variety of food items which would never have grown under the western conditions. Marine animals and marine plants - These are the most common food for a Shaderian's to dine upon as there is an abundance of food which regularly replenishes itself thanks to forced growth caused by high levels of Chauxite. The coastal regions ship large quantities of seafood throughout the Shaderian country every single day. Strange Meat (You don't wanna know what you are eating), and Soylent green are staple food stuffs for the Shaderian populace. These produce are created under the shroud and are then shipped to all corners of Shaderia. There are some people in the Eastern cities who believe that these food stuffs are actually made out of human flesh, though there is no strong evidence to support this. Delicacies - One of Shaderia's most delectable dishes can be found deep within the Western Caves. This small bat is said to be indescribable and has almost addictive qualities which once lead to it being hunted near extinction. However, poaching of this beast will not be tolerated and will be greeted with death. The overpricing of these bats has led to their quantities to soar. Kane: You are what you eat. Thereofore the Shaderians are a freaky fish people. Solomon: Ban, Ban, Caliban! Healthcare Health in Shaderia varies quite a lot. In the East the average life expectency is 78 years, whereas in the West it is only 62 years. The reason for this is that the chauxite emmissions in the west, although not harmful over short periods, will begin to harm the peoples lungs if they are surrounded by chauxite for a long period of time. However, since a notable number of western citizens prolong their life through necromancy and lichtic rituals the true life expectancy is very different (though nearl impossible to determine). Because the countries living habits and life expectencies are so different Solomon implemented a dual national health service (colloquially referred to as Dinahs), with both services being taylored to the eastern and western lifestyles. Though should a western citizen feel shortchanged by their health service, or vice versa, they may apply to join the other service plan. Currently the pop band Aqua oversees the running of the dual NHS program, with the highly valued yet narcoleptic Dr Jones advising them on the system. However, since the Western Program changes a lot quicker, and has some rather perculiar cases to deal with, the highly esteemed Dr Horrible offers his specialised diagnosis for cases in the west. It was his skill as a healer, negotiator and general air of intrigue which urged Solomon to suggest that he run for UNEC , a position which he rather easily achieved. Due to the fact that many citizens have now become liches, and so do not suffer the follies of the flesh, there has been some disputes about how the health service should be funded, since all citizens are required to fund Dinahs through taxes. A specialised program for the liches was then implemented which allowed them to have regular "tune ups" on their lichtic skills to help strengthen the binds their soul has to this world, as well as offering bone enhancements to their vessels and securely taking care of the items they are bound to. Music The Music of Mainland Shaderia consists of genres such as Metal, Heavy Rock, Screamo and the folk stylings of Simon & Garfunkle. Some of the bands which currently play here are: *Cannibal Corpse (Whom recorded Shaderia's national anthem - evisceration plague) *''Rise Against'' *Napalm Death *Trivium *Disturbed *The Sex Pistols (With a revived corpse of Sid Vicious) *Funeral For a Friend *Eagles *Simon & Garfunkle *Beethoven's Corpse *Cradle of Filth *Strauss * A-Ha *'' Sum 41'' *Gorillaz *Will Smith ' '''Economy' ' ' The economy of Mainland Shaderia mainly consists of exporting raw materials and marine wildlife to other countries of the world. Shaderia is lucky as to make up for the lack of life on land, the land itself is rich in raw materials and vital minerals, some of which are not available anywhere else in the world, such as chauxite. Thanks to the limited Necromantic abilities of King Solomon, he can raise skeletons from the dead. These skeletons create a fantastic workforce which is perfect for construction. These skeletal slaves are also sold to other countries on the black market. The Shaderian economy is largely based on skeletal slaves, seafood and chauxite exports, stone carvings, tourism (in the east of Shaderia at least) higher education in the art of necromancy, and most recently, oil , after the South Suporcian oil fields were discovered. Religion 'Shadistika' Mainland Shaderia mostly follows the religion known as Shadistika . Originally the religion was used in worship of the Immortal Azhul, and this practice continued for over seven hundred years. The religion was originally based on compassion and raising the dead for the greater good, as, eventhough he was an Immortal, Azhul cared deeply for mankind. After Solomon murdered Azhul and absorbed his powers of immortality and resurrection the religion effectively died. In the following centuries Solomon managed to slaughter all of Azhul's brethren and the Religion of Immortals was lost to time. Several decades after Shadistika had been completely forgotten some of the deepest caves were being excavated and the Shaderians stumbled across a temple. In the temple were sacred texts and lost information that people thought proved invaluable in advancing Shaderia and a resurgence was felt. Solomon allowed this resurgance to take place as it helped to unify his country. He also insisted that Azhul be used to symbolise the religion as he thought having Azhul symbolise everything he hated (anger, greed, resurrection for evil) would be the ultimate victory. In the temple were also instructions and instruments which allowed civilians to raise the dead (though it would take dedication and years of training). In doing this you would place the deceaced in the arms of "Azhul," for there was an ancient statue within, and after following some complex instructions, the dead would rise, if only for short periods of time with limited uses. But as necromantic skills among the civilians improved, so did the resurrections. Azhul the Immortal As an Immortal he was one of the creators of the world. Although many of his ken didn't particularly care for humanity Azhul cared for them. He created and destroyed life and was able to bring people back from the dead. In the early days of the world, before even Shaderia existed, he taught tribes people how to raise the dead and was the most prominant religion in the Shaderian region. Months after he was murdered Azhul's corpse washed up on the coast of Shaderia. His close followers tried to re-animate him but to no avail, and so many of them sacrificed themselves. One priest stayed alive in order to re-animate the sacrifices and place them around the tomb of Azhul to guard him throughout eternity. The priest then apparently poisoned himself and with that, the knowledge of necromancy was lost along with most practicioners of Shadistika. With the discovery of the books and the temple however, Shadistika has become the most prominent religion. In present day the religion is closely followed and brings unity and stability to Mainland Shaderia, though nobody knows the truth about how it was actually Solomon who killed Azhul. 'Minority Religions' An in depth look at the two other religions of Shaderia can be seen on these two pages: *The Brotherhood of Gabranth *Tarvuism Warfare Shaderian Flag finished Style 2.jpg|Flag of the Shaderian Army Shaderian Air Force.jpg|Flag of the Shaderian Air Force Shaderian Navy.jpg|Flag of the Shaderian Navy Shaderian Home Guard.jpg|Flag of the Shaderian Home Guard The army of Shaderia consists of every able bodied person in the country, those who are not able to fight physically are given roles as tacticians and other such positions. Although during a war not every person will fight the training of all of the peoples is necessary if their village should ever come under attack from invading forces. However since the Chauxite can cause some respiratory difficulties for those not use to it, and the low visibility makes attacking difficult, there are few attacks on western Shaderia and those which occur are often abandoned since the area is too difficult to claim. When fighting the army's of Western Shaderia often stick to guerrilla tactics followed by direct assault. As well as this they also prefer to fight at night, this is because they have the advantage of strong eye sight and should they spend too long spent in natural sunlight they may be seriously affected. However, should the chosen army consist mostly of East Shaderian recruits then skirmishes usually occur during the day. The leader of Shaderia's armed forces is King Solomon who is an excellent fighter and if an attack is made on Shaderia's soil he will directly confront the invaders himself, however, should the battle occur on foreign ground the armies are lead by six specially selected generals who are apart of The Circle of Seven. Shaderia has a diverse landscape and so the warriors are chosen based on the environment. Should the enemy be fighting in dark areas or in environments where it is difficult to breathe then the specialist forces will consist of troops from Western Shaderia, should the environment be wet and marshy then the Baiyemeau warriors will make up the special forces, should the war be fought in the desert then the Scorch Special Forces will take the initiative and should the battle take place in high or rocky terrain the Selchen of Nadyavak will be used. Bio-Warfare: Darklings These savage creatures dwell in the dark caves on Mainland Shaderia and can be trained from infancy to attack intruders. Because these creatures live in virtual darkness for most of their lives however daylight raids are impossible as any strong light causes them to convulse and usually lead to death or a comatose state. These creatures are naturally friendly to all human inhabitants of Shaderia and mainly eat grubs and insects to survive, however any foreign person (Including those from the Isle of Shaderia) will be savagely attacked by these blood thirsty monsters as they rip and bite their pray without mercy. In warfare situations these creatures are usually sent on suicide missions as once they start killing they do not stop until all are dead, even if this means braving daylight which will lead to certain death. Necro-Warfare The teachings of Shadistika often talked about Necromancy and so the endeavor to create life from lifelessness has always been a goal for Shaderians. Though this was perfect achievable the end product proved little use as the reanimated corpse, no longer having a will of its own, would listen to anyone and obey all. So they were merely used for amusement, and the existence of these beings were also short-lived as Necromancy was a tricky art. But a breakthrough has allowed the "Arisen" as they are known, to be completely free of outsider manipulation and are also now able to be animate for much longer periods of time. So even if the enemy is winning, there is still an entire battlefield of soldiers waiting to be put into action, even against their previous allies. The only problem with Necro-Warfare now is that to re-animate corpses so effectively makes the necromancy very weak and so their death can sometimes be a result of over re-animation. Although having many benefits from practicing necromancy there are also some negatives. These include: * When raising the dead the necromancer is in a very vulnerable state, and since necromancy can be a long and arduous process if the necromancer is killed without completing the resurrection the corpse which they were re-animating becomes trapped between undead and dead. This state closely resembles the state of early "Arisen" but they are know as the "Arising." "Arising" are very unpredictable and dangerous as they cannot be controlled, because of this in the event of an unfinished resurrection there is much cause for distress. * Raising the dead also sucks the life out of the necromancer, and so if the necromancer is inexperienced or attempts to resurrect too many bodies, they could very well die (for good). If the death should occur during mid resurrection then the chaos of the first downside could very well ensue. * Since most of the skeletons look very similar, it is hard to distinguish which necromancer has re-animated which skeleton. This confusion can be a problem in the battle field if using lower level "Arisen" soldiers as they could be commanded by the enemy without you even knowing it. But to prevent this, a tinting system has been adopted in which the bones are coloured slightly so they are easier to distinguish between the ranks. ' '''Strategic Manoeuvres' Shaderia is hosting military operations for its allies. These will take place in the west and are aimed at making the soldiers better at fighting in extreme conditions. Key Military Bases Key military bases in Shaderia The Shaderian Barracks have all been tactically placed. They cover a range of environments to ensure that Shaderian soldiers are ready for anything. The Soldiers of Tarvu Barracks teach recruits to fight on "regular" terrain, Trench Barracks ensure that the soldiers can fight in swamps and marshlands, the Barracks of Nadyavak help make students adept at fighting in mountains and Dante's Inferno prepare the troops for skirmishes in the desert. The final Barracks, in Chakr, is reserved for the greatest troops and tests their skill under the difficult conditions of the shroud, where light is scarce and breathing is hard. The Table "The table has nothing to do with Shaderia. It is owned by and spiritually connected to AAC." - A mentally unstable Artificial Crystal addict who believes that he is the king of the Seagulls, despite Don Nesbit being revered and feared as the leader throughout all seagull kind. ' The table was one of the first creations to be forged in the Immortals' primeordial ooze. After the Immortal's were slain from existance the Table happened to fall into the hands of the humans. The Immortals had chosen the Edwardians to safeguard one of their most prized artifacts for the rest of eternity. The Edwardians sought to protect it against all evil according to the wishes of the old gods, though the group became split amongst themselves after several Edwardians sought to unlock the table's powers so that they may use them for personal gains. This disagreement eventually led to the Edwardians losing the table to rival groups who envied how the Edwardians were favoured by the Immortals. The Table was claimed by a succession of religions, but it would never be owned by them for long as none could understand the true nature of the table and thus invited their own destruction. As the centuries past the table eventually came into possession of Dr Samuel Jones, who enjoyed it for its appearance and knew nothing of its mystical origins. The Dr eventually succumbed to the usage of Artificial Crystal and became so addicted that he lost everything, living only to try and further his habit. As everything he owned was taken by force, Dr Jones, for reasons unknown even to him, hid the table so that it would not be taken. While travelling back to the sqaulor in which he now resided Jones finished the last of a new strain of artificial crystal and while he was in his drug enduced state he could see the heavenly aura which was emmitting from the table. Jones now realised it was no ordinary creation. Unsure what else to do with the table, Jones kept it in the basement apartment of a brothel, which he shared with several other ne'er do wells. Whilst helping those in need, Godfrey Wilson (AKA, Me) saw the table which Jones possessed. The once glorious creation was gouged, scuffed and scorched from the regular violence of the brothels, was thick with the residue of semen and crystal, and was losing the power which was granted by the Immortal's. Godfrey Wilson, an expert on Immortal's lore and legends, informed Jones of the artifact's origins and insisted that it must be restored to its former glory. But Jones was reluctant to give up the table, despite the fact that it was dying in his care, Wilson did not wish to pay Jones for the table as he knew that he'd just spend it on crystals, so he moved the addict and the table into a nicer area in the hope that jones would become sober and the table be saved. During this time in rehab Jones fell off the wagon, stole any items of value which Wilson owned (including the antique 20 pence piece) and fled to Lexilo for refuge, leaving Wilson to try and rebuild his life whilst he also tried to restore the tables former glory. Many years later Jones had returned. Though he was no longer hooked on the Artifical Crystal he was still as conniving as before. He tried to claim the table as his own and refused to acknowledge the items which he had stolen. And so a bitter rivalry ensued between Dr Jones, who would have surely dragged the table into its own destruction and Godfrey Wilson, who fought tooth and nail to restore the table's life force. As the rivalry continued Dr Jones and Godfrey Wilson sought assistance from countries to secure their claim on the table. Dr Jones sought help from the AAC whilst Godfrey Wilson sought help from Shaderia. During the old world's Armageddon a skirmish from unknown antagonists resulted in the table's disappearance and it was feared that the table had been destroyed for good. But this was no ordinary table, it was the table of the Immortals, and as the world was destroyed around it the table sought new life, the new map, Arsinos. Now under the neutral ownership of Salopia, it is placed in the Much Wenlock Museum. Though both the AAC and Shaderia have vowed to reclaim what they see as rightfully theirs. : Since being annexed by Shaderia from Salopia, in order to stop the AAC taking possession of it, it was believed that the table had been destroyed after the naval vessel on which it was travelling was destroyed. It soon came to light, however, that this was all just a decoy and that the Stahl Empire secretly transported the table to their island. In a brutish move they betrayed their long time ally, Shaderia, and gave the table to the most hated of enemies, the AAC. After doing this the first war of the table was waged. : Without reinforcements from AAC, Stahl's supposed new ally, Stahl could not fend off the Shaderian and Lexilolian forces. Ultimately this resulted in WMD threats, UN intevention and the fall of the Stahl Empire. In spite of all their efforts, however, Shaderia was unable to free the table from AAC's clutches. : The table then spent most of it's time under AAC's guard on the island of Los Campensinos, or whatever, hoping that should Shaderia make a grab for it the AAC mainland would not be scathed and assistance from DB, which lay near to the island, would be easy. After Shaderia bided their time tactfully they allied with the Salopian Empire to make a grab for the table whilst Dog Bollock was distracted in matters of other wars. The second war of the table begun. The war resulted in one of the most costly, and longest, wars in recent history and the world plunged into a great depression. During the commotion Avril Lavigne and her pet bear sharks stole the table from Shaderia and AAC and took it back to the USP. After much internal negotion it was decided that the table should be handed back over to the UN. It now resides on the Shaderian island of Glenmark, though is technically on UN soil so it is not under Shaderian possession. 'Toastervision TV Six S'haderia has entered the Toastervision contest since Toastervision 6, which was hosted in Landland. Shaderia's debut entry was Roses for the Dead by ''Funeral For A Friend ''and garnered many favourable reviews for a first time entrant. Overall it placed fifth out of a total of 16 countries and Shaderia rejoiced. Lexilo won with Black Swan Song by Athlete. TV Seven '''W'ith Toastervision 7 Shaderia decided to change things up a bit and go for an 80's classic, Take on Me by A-ha. ''Take on Me proved to be a huge success and sky rocketed to third place behind AAC and the AU (Novak/Lupinis) who came joint first with Weezer's The Sweater Song and Slot's Angelok. TV Eight '''O'nce again Shaderia chose a new genre for Toastervision 8 in Britpop, the band of choice was the amazing Beautiful South and the song of choice was, One Last Love Song, a brilliant satire on modern pop music and also a very poignant story about lost love and second chances. Despite this array of brilliance the song managed a lowish score of 58, coming 10th out of 17 entries (with 3 disqualifications).. The winner was Lexilo with Don't Stop by Inner Party System. TV Nine 'P'op rock was the next stop for Shaderia, and even though they did poorly in the last Toastervision, Lexilo handed over the reigns to Shaderia. Toastervision 9 was one of the greatest TV's to date, mostly because Shaderia was in charge and the Toastervision banner had an almost sadistic Moomins theme. Shaderia did not fair too well in this competition either, the song of choice was the video version of Life is Beautiful by Sixx AM, an amazing song about the struggles of heroine addiction. The current scores and place of Shaderia in the contest have been lost to time with the Y1C computer meltdown. Below the Shaderian introduction for TV 9 can be seen. . . . TV Ten For Toastervision 10th Shaderia decided to hold a trilogy of national finals. The entries were all from Funeral For a Friends bound faces trilogy, with the songs being. #Bullet Theory #You Want Romance? #Juneau (Acoustic) The national finals decided that Juneau (acoustic) would be Shaderias entry for TV 10 and the contest continued. However, due to a strange case of global amnesia the greatest Toastervision ever to be held has been completely forgotten, with no idea of who the winner was, though many claim that Shaderia came first. TV Eleven 'T'oastervision 11 saw Shaderia supporting Fleetwood Mac with their amazing song about the futility and sadness of life and aging and separation, the song saw overwhelming success and became the highest rated song to come out of Shaderia with 88 points, coming in a close second behind Lexilo (Last Hope, Paramore) who had 97. TV Twelve Shaderia decided to invigorate it's roots in darkness and put forward Dark Tranquillity's "The Fatalist" for TV 12. The song did not do very well, as expected, but the entry was only for glory of the song and not to pander to the people and so Shaderia were happy with their choice. They came eighth (out of 13) with 58 points. TV Thirteen '''Notable People MJB Perhaps one of the most famous residents of Shaderia was Matthew Jefferson Beaumont, who was famous for his television show “Oh the big one” which aired in the late nineties it was a smashing hit and won many awards in the Grimm awards and was world renowned for it’s catchphrases, one of the most memorable moments was when a primordial dwarf with curly brown hair burst into the live studio shouting, “down with communism and fascism as well as screaming country people stink” and may I add he a sex drive which was eternally set to hyper which meant he would try to hump anything that moved, and everything else which caused him to try to “climax” over the studio audience. At the start of the new millennium however the show started to wind down as more people wanted reality TV and his show was eventually axed in April 2000. Matthew appeared on a show now and again, most famously his appearance on Richard and Judy which led to him attacking Richard for remarking on his haircut, but never reclaimed his fame, he was offered a spot on “I am a celebrity get me out of here” but for the last four years he has been addicted to opium, since it is considered a posh drug and he has been unable to appear on television in a reliable state furthermore his violent episodes have caused him to be banned from TV for the next 10 years. So now with his fame far in the past and a lonely future ahead, he sits with his butler Hargreeves in his manor growing weaker and weaker and watching re-runs of the show to remind him of better days, though I do hate to end on a sad note so I shall leave it with one of his most popular catchphrases “MY HAIR IS NOT A WIG.” Since this was written MJB has been sent to the slave mines on the Isle of Shaderia to work himself to death mining semi precious minerals. Richard and Judy Richard and Judy were once invited to Shaderia to air a TV show but after the 3rd episode they were ritually slaughtered to appease Solomon. However he was offended by the unworthy Sacrifice and so ordered 10 beautiful sacrifices from the surrounding villages as compensation. They are beleived by some to be creators of the worldJoey Essex Simon and Garfunkle Simon and Garfunkle are currently living in Scorch, one of the few cities not subjected to the black shroud and appears just like most other cities on the map. They are the record holding scrabble players in the scrabble tournaments and regularly hold concerts where they play songs such as Mrs. Robinson, Scarborough Fair and The Sound of Silence. Supporting acts include the Michael Oldfield orchestra who gives a seven hour performance of Tubular Bells, Muse, FFAF and Napalm Death. Larry Sanger The sole founder of wikipedia, practically a god, Jimmy "fails" got nuthin on this guy, nuff said... Fuck Larry Sanger. Jimmy Wales ftw. Jerry Springer Jerry Springer is the peace negotiator for the whole of Shaderia and is regularly accompanied by a group of strange rednecks who whoop and such. Rick Astley Rick Astley is in charge of the humanitarian aspects of Shaderia. He organises aid for other countries in time of crisis and ensures that the orphaned children do not grow hungry and die (Solomon supports this action in particularly as a child's reanimated corpse is far less usefull as a grown adult corpse). Rick Astley travels the country helping those in need, all the while singing the lyrics to "Never gonna give you up." . . . Lich Shakespeare Famed writer William Shakespeare lived in Shaderia before his death from scurvy. Before he died he carried out the Lichtic ritual in which he sacrificed several prisoners (who were on death row) and bound his life to an amulet. He is now used as a prisoner to write jingles for cereal commercials against his will, though if the anti slavery law passes he will be free to leave Shaderia. Batman and Robin (60's edition) The caped crusader and his companion boy wonder can be seen fighting crime throughout the Shaderian streets. The Dynamic Duo usually spend their time fighting petty criminals in the Eastern Regions rather than in the dark and violent west. Much preferring to stop criminals like Louis the Lilac from stealing all of the flowers than stopping Serial Mass Murderers and schizophrenic psychopaths. They can often be seen patrolling the seas around Shaderia in the Batcopter, occasionally they get in scuffles with Megasharks after climbing down the Bat-Ladder, but it's nothing that Batman's shark repllent spray can't sort out. . . . Eddie and The Guy Mascots of the bands Iron Maiden and Disturbed, Eddie and The Guy often spend their time in Western Shaderia. Spelunking in the many caves or fishing in the rivers. References Category:Countries Category:Gay Category:Haram